Even with how self-aware I am and with the amount of work I’ve been putting in to improving my mental and physical health, energy and environment, I knew that going to therapy was the next stage to get the answers I need and confirmation I deserve.
I’ve had therapy sessions in the past but looking back I know that I wasn’t mentally mature enough to handle the process, understand the questioning and accept my experiences. However, on this occasion I knew I was ready to take the plunge. I wanted to delve deeply into my mind, thoughts and experiences, taking accountability of what I’ve done, accepting my experiences and knowing what I need to do to go forward for a better and happy future.
I was very specific with who I wanted to council me, that’ll allow me to be more free, better understood and actually listen to what I would say. I wanted a Black, Christian, family man. Three elements that I see in myself. Someone who will understand my upbringing, culture, life journey and future.
I’m super grateful to my fellow mental health advocates, Dionne from Perfect Flaw and Hannah at Me, Mind Mind & I who shared their story and encouraged me to take the big step of going to therapy and a massive thank you to Frontline Therapist for providing me with a wide range of potential counsellor. If you’re Black or an ethnic minority I’d encourage you to contact Frontline for a free consultation and help to go forward.
Maybe unlike many people, I was super excited to attend my first session with my therapist, Alex*. I knew that he wouldn’t be able to provide me with all the answers to my questions on day 1 but I knew it was an opportunity for me to:
1) dig deep into my life;
2) confirm and affirm my experiences and choices;
3) direct my thoughts and actions for my life going forward; and
4) even change my narrative.
The journey I’ve gone on with therapy has been life changing. There’s been no greater relief to hear someone confirm what you’ve said about yourself. This is also pronounced by me giving the FULL story and detailing MY faults, as it shows where I went wrong or did right. I’m not exempt from being dragged and slapped up! But it’s just been an eye opening, calming, soothing and peaceful 2+ month process. I’ve shared near enough every element of my life to my therapist so that we can both get a better understanding of what I need to accept and do going forward.
People say that you shouldn’t be dependent on your therapist and I agree. Your therapist should be someone who can help answers your questions (where they can), direct you in the right way and provide the needed tools so that you can help YOU help yourself. Even though I would love for Alex to be my new uncle, I have to appreciate the roles and responsibilities here.
I can’t recommend therapy enough to EVERYONE!!! Whether you’re a mental health sufferer or not, single, married, peaceful or worried, every person has a story and experiences that has shaped their life and mind. It is good to get some clarity on your journey and see what you can do, change or create for a better life going forward.
I’ll come back later one and detail more things I learnt in a future post.
Peace and love x
*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.